Sunday, October 21, 2007

A Horrifying Face

Now I've known for years that I was not going to win any beauty contests. You've heard all the sayings, Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone! He's got a face that would make a train take a side street! When God gave out good looks, you were behind the barn!

I was amazed when my lovely wife actually said yes when I asked her to marry me, I didn't realize she was blind. She is an artist, maybe she saw something in this block of stone that nobody else could see, or maybe she felt sorry for me. On the other hand, my children profess to love me, but it's not like they have another dad to say that too. I mean really, they don't know any better.

Ok, what does that have to do with anything. Well, I've never posted a picture of myself, because I figured it would scare away those of you who comment here. It's one thing to post on a blog as a nameless, faceless person, it's another thing to have a freak of nature post on your blog or to post on the freaks blog. Be patient I'm getting there,...

So it's been raining since last Saturday, and on Sunday it rained close to 5 inches down in Southwest Iowa where I came from. On Monday my youngest brother called saying that the river was out on his corn field. He and his lovely wife were going to get away for a part of the day, kind of a mental break from the stress of farming and did we want to meet them in Ames at our favorite eating establishment, Hickory Park? Now I'm ugly but I ain't stupid, so I called Mrs. farmer told her to start making plans for supper at Hickory Park.

My brother and his wife had a baby in June, I posted about that previously. She is cute as a bugs ear. My girls were looking forward to holding the baby. My brothers wife likes the fact that we have three baby sitters and I was drooling over the BBQ ribs we were going to eat. Everybody's happy, ........not so much!!

This picture is a classic. I believe that this expression is exactly how every woman I've ever met feels when they first see me. The combination of horror, fear and revulsion is amazing. So to prove to you, that I am truly scary to look at, that women are filled with revulsion when they see me, I for the first time am posting a picture which includes my face.

You have been warned. I have it on good authority that Spacebunny still has nightmares after Mrs. farmer and I met her at a homeschool conference. It is entirely possible that your computer screen may break, the hard drive on your computer may go up in smoke, you may be blinded. Do not look at this picture while eating or drinking, it may cause your digestive tract to reverse course.

Please concentrate on the cute little girl I am holding. Pray that she will not be scarred for life. Ok, enough stalling.

Don't ya feel sorry for that cute little doll? In all of her life she may never encounter something so vile and repugnant as this face.

Hope I made you laugh.

farmer Tom

an update,

Doesn't she look cute when she's not terrified of her ugly uncle??